| Tulsa's Corner |
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WELCOME TO TULSA'S CORNER Tulsa O'Flannagan is a legendary cowboy in the old tradition, rough & ready he has spent most of life riding trails all over Arizona, Texas & the black country. Over his many, many, many, many, many, many years of trail riding he has amassed a vast knowledge of all aspects of western life, whether it be riding styles, survival tips or how to make the perfect Whisky Mac Tulsa has not only acquired this knowledge but in most cases improved it with his own special touch, in others however he has managed to make things much worse.
His early history is steeped in mystery & his origins are known only to a select few trusted amigos but a winding & dusty path, possibly the M6, has finally led him into our lives. Still riding his trusted steed Bravo he claims he will ride till his final days & hopes to be buried alongside one of his 7 wives, whichever he dies nearest to, though at the moment his 7th wife is still with us so she'd be the best bet. Over the next few weeks & months, should he last that long, Tulsa will be imparting his hard earned wisdom to us all but, instead of holding court in the bar at Rancho Bravo as he often does, we have persuaded him to allow us to publish his thoughts, his jokes, his facts & his tips on our website, for this Tulsa we say thank you. I think. We have also managed, after much persuasion (& even more Whisky Mac) to persuade him to allow us to show you some very rare photographs of him, something he has never before allowed due to his natural shyness & fear of recognition when shopping in Mercadona, click on our Gallery section to see Tulsa in all his cattle rustling, whisky guzzling, chap wearing glory.
For now please enjoy Tulsa's Corner........
Due to my recent absence there's been some less than nice things being said about poor ol' Tulsa & I'm here to dispel all those rumours, firstly, I have not been captured by injuns & made to serve as a slave to the chief, secondly, I have not decided to join the monastery & become a eunuch, & thirdly, I did not fall into a freezer in Mercadona trying to avoid a crowd of paparazzi ! So I hope that puts ya mind at rest & a tingle in ya loins, knowing that Tulsa is still fighting fit & gallantly grey ! Ok, so here we go again on yet another of my feasts of fun & information, this month I'm gonna try & chase away those winter blues & put a big smile on ya faces by givin' you a whole page of my jokes. Ok, who moaned then ????
These have all been collected on my many journeys around the west (midlands) & most have never been heard before.......unless you used to watch a lot of Des O'Connor & Les Dawson shows. I've also got one or 2 more bits of cowboy logic to enjoy too, some months I spoil y'all. If you don't laugh at least twice whilst reading this page please direct all complaints to that no-good, cattle-rustling, skinnny-legged cowpoke Richie, he's to blame. If however, you laugh lots, please direct all your congratulations & any monetary donations to me, good ol' Tulsa O' Flannagan, yeehaw !!
Enjoy folks................ 2 old cowboys are walking past a church one day & start reading the gravestones, "Wow " says the first cowboy " This guy was 182 years old !" "Really ?" says the other cowboy, " What was his name ? " "Miles from Washington "
What do you call a cowboy with half a brain ? Gifted
With dreams of becoming a legendary cowboy dancing in his head, cowboy Richie decided to hone his horsemanship. He mounted the horse, and it sprang into motion. It galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Richie began to slip from the saddle. Terrified, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but couldn't seem to get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck and almost lost his balance. The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, Richie tried to throw himself to safety by leaping from the horse. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, putting him at the mercy of the pounding hooves. His head battered repeatedly against the ground, and he was moments away from unconsciousness when, to his great fortune, the Tesco's manager ran out and unplugged the horse.
Tulsa O' Flannagan was killed in a stampede and his face was pretty badly mutilated. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Richie and Rusty. The three men had always done everything together. Richie arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Richie said, “ His face
is torn up pretty bad. You better roll him over “ The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Rusty in to identify the body. Rusty took a look at the body and said,
“Yup, he's
pretty well torn up. Roll him over “
The mortician asked, “
How can you tell ? “
“Yup “ said Richie “ Every
time we went to town, folks would say,
After a long day in the saddle Tulsa walks into a saloon & says to the barman, " Gimme something tall, icy & full of whisky " " Hang on moment sir " replies the barman, " I'll go fetch my wife "
What's the difference between a cowboy & cheese ? Cheese matures
What do you call a pig with fleas ? Pork Scratching
What do cowboys & railway stations have in common ? They both use the same old lines to pick people up
And here's some cowboy logic.........
Most folks are like a barbed-wire fence. They have their good points.
Theres a lot more to riding a horse than sitting in the saddle & letting ya feet hang down.
When you get to where you're goin', the first thing to do is take care of the horse you rode in on.
Honesty is not somethin' you should flirt with, you should be married to it.
" Well hope y'all enjoyed that little winter warmer & don't forget to check back soon for more fun & games with me, Tulsa O'Flannagan, yeeeee-haaaawww !! "
Tulsa * * * *
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